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| The White Tower of London |
Marguerite
Harbert, heiress of Birmingham based Harbert Construction and richest person in
Alabama, has offered to purchase the Tower of London for the good of the
country. Inspired by the late Robert McCulloch who purchased London Bridge and moved it to Arizona, she envisions placing the Tower of London on the Alabama River in
Montgomery, in proximity to the Alabama Shakespeare Festival Theater. The
heiress would like to return the Tower to its historical role of prison for
high ranking officials guilty of acts of sedition.
Alabama is the perfect home
for the Tower of London,” Ms. Harbert told the press. “First of all, we have
that sixteenth century mindset that is all but lost in much of Western
Civilization. Second, we are a hotbed of seditious political leaders. First,
there was Judge Roy Moore defying the federal courts for a second time, even
after being removed from office for the first offense. Now, both of Alabama’s
senators, Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III and Richard Shelby, have committed
the latest seditious act by signing the infamous letter to Iran from 47 Republican senators in hopes of
undermining the work of the leader of the free world, President Barack Obama.
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| Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III |
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| Roy Moore |
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| Richard Shelby |
The proposal being put forth
is to allow the Tower of London to once again be used as a place of
imprisonment to seditious public officials. Roy Moore, Jeff Sessions, and
Richard Shelby are the top choices for the state of Alabama. If the project
moves with success, there may also be a future for Dick "Darth Vader" Cheney to
receive what Shakespeare might term “poetic justice” for the torture king of
water boarding. The only hurdle is the Alabama State Legislature which the
heiress sees as no problem since they have proven to open to monetary
persuasion.
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