Sunday, June 26, 2016

Mike Hubbard’s Advice to the Governor: Get a Tattoo!

Mike Hubbard (photo from Legal Schnauzer)

Mike Hubbard represented one on of the three branches of state government in his role as Speaker of the House in the Alabama State Legislature. He now represents one third of the Alabama state leadership currently at odds with the law, since leaders of all three branches have been under investigation. The governor may even face impeachment while Chief Justice Judge Roy Moore faces ethics complaints.

Hubbard is the first of the three to be convicted (on 12 of 23 ethics charges). His advice to his Republican colleagues still facing charges is, “Get a tattoo before you go to the slammer.”

Gov. Bentley
(Wikipedia photo)
“Ordinarily,” Hubbard told Governor Bentley in a recent telephone conversation, “I would recommend you get the best legal counsel. But you know, I had the best legal counsel available in the state of Alabama and now I’ve landed in prison. And let me tell you, Governor, prison is a rude awakening.”

“I faced lots of criticism as a state legislator – people telling me I was no real statesman and stuff like that, but now that I’m in the slammer, I can’t get any respect here either. These thugs are telling me I am no real criminal. They say I’m just two-bit politician. It is especially disheartening to see the disdain my fellow inmates have for me. I really think that if I had a tattoo when they hauled me into the slammer, I would have a better chance of being one of the guys and getting a little more respect for my misdeeds.”

Judge Roy Moore
(AL.Com photo)
It is not known whether Governor Bentley has made any contact with a tattoo parlor in an effort to ease his own transition. It is assumed that Judge Roy Moore will heed the injunction against tattoos in Leviticus 19:28, since he has a penchant for Old Testament laws. A source close to the judge did say that he may follow the Apostle Paul’s example of writing prison letters to churches. “Not that he wants to add to scripture, but there is a lot of fundraising opportunity there.”

Cartoon by J.D. Crowe